After eight years, I no longer think that forty is a terrible age. However, at the time it seemed to me that this was a terrible figure. I was very depressed by her.
I was so bad on the eve of my birthday that I almost fell into a real depression. And this is ridiculous, because a forty-year-old woman is not an old woman at all. At this age, you can look very young, especially when you take care of yourself and dress well.
Yes, in fact, such a woman is no longer young, not twenty years old. But still, not old, not at all an “aunt”, as some like to say. The number in the passport does not matter at all. You don’t become invisible to men when you turn forty. But still, it is important to remember that you are no longer a young girl, but a mature woman.
You need to behave according to age, dress too. You can’t look the same as you looked at twenty years old, when you were already forty. Something happened to me, after which I had to reconsider my appearance. Before that, it seemed to me that since my size has not changed from a younger age, I can wear the same clothes as before. Short skirts, shorts and mini dresses.
And I behaved beyond my age, giggled like a schoolgirl, was careless. I thought that people would not understand how old I am, that my fun would mislead them. But I couldn’t fool anyone. People saw very well that I was only trying to pass myself off as a young girl, but in fact I was not.
I went on vacation to a Turkish resort after I divorced my husband. I planned that the vacation would allow me to survive this difficult period. And it really happened, I kind of rebooted then. Three months have passed, and I met a new man, with whom we are still dating.
I had a great time at the resort surrounded by many people from different countries. Some still sometimes write to me, we communicate well.
Our animator was about twenty-five, he was not a local resident: my compatriot, just from the south of the country. This guy started flirting with me and ended up asking me out on a date. I didn’t think it was a good idea: after all, he was much younger than me. I refused. I explained that we have too big a difference in age.
The guy tried to ask how old I was, but I did not answer. In the end, he still found out what he wanted: he asked at the reception. And then he came to me with a strange statement.
He said that he was amazed by the figure he heard, that he could not even imagine such a thing. Like, I was incredibly well preserved in such and such years. Said I was great.
The boy obviously wanted to please me, to say something pleasant. But for some reason I was not happy, I felt embarrassed and disgusted. I realized that my real age is perfectly visible to others. They understand that I’m far from twenty. And how do I look in my short skirts? An adult woman who tries to impersonate a youngster. Completely inadequate.
From the words of the animator, it was clear that he had seen before that I was older. And it’s not about how well I survived. You never know what you can say this about: maybe about some kind of fossil. It doesn’t change the fact that she’s quite old.
It seems to me that if I had dressed differently, if my behavior had been more restrained, I would have been perceived differently. And maybe more respect.
It was then that I realized that I no longer want to try to look younger. It doesn’t do me any good. I gradually changed my image and began to feel much better. My age has ceased to seem like a terrible problem to me. It is much better to be an accepted adult woman than a strange infantile person who tries to mow down like a young girl.